How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
