Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
