is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
