we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
How does it feel to date your dad?
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