it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
