I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
