If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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