moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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