i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I believe in your delicious
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
