I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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