I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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