1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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