it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
