You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
its liver damage thursday
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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