i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Couch. On fire.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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