Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Randomize