Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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