it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
