Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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