why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
