you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
