He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
