Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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