He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just blew my weed a kiss
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
