i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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