Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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