I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
