Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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