How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm at about main and main street
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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