His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
What did we do last night that was yellow?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
