i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
