Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
