He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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