hotel room ftw
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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