My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
