there's paper in my vomit.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
