I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
