after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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