i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
the condom got lost in my hair
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
