Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
