I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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