It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
