I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize
