you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
