I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
