My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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