Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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