shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
