Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
