Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
