So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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