Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
