so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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