how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
