I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
