so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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