i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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