guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
