No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
