Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Randomize
