i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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