I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
