The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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