the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
