just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
