Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
