What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
