i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
