Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
