just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
