sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
